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I went to the last of this quarter’s Lion’s Rock readings tonight. The guest author was nature poet Derek Sheffield.

He wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. The first poem was (on the surface) about fishing.

I’m not a big outdoorsy kind of person, so you can imagine how out of my element I was.

But I totally picked up on the sexual undertones to the fish poem.

Maybe undertones is the wrong word.

The first line was something about someone telling him to jerk it.

The next line was him saying he jerked his rod.

Of course he was talking about his fishing pole…Of course.

He also read a poem called “Getting it done” which was hilarious. It was about getting a vasectomy.

While he’s not what I would normally read or listen to, I have to hand it to him. He is a very skilled writer. I am particularly impressed in how he can build and build all throughout his poem, lulling us into a false sense of security, before he sucker punches us in the gut in the last line.

Like seriously, one of his poems was this cute poem about a little boy who got a lucky rabbit’s foot and decided to bury it so the rabbit would grow back. Surely, it would only take a couple of hours to grow. But the last line….that last line….if he waited long enough, maybe his mother would come back…. (Of course, it was put much more poetically than I just put it.)

Man, I wish I were more talented.

(I know, I know. Practice. Practice. Practice.)

On a less important note: I would enjoy these readings a whole fucking lot more if they stopped having them in the Wildcat shop. That is a terrible venue.